I have to stop

Heey peepz (l)

I haven’t blogged a lot past weeks. That is because I am not feeling okay and don’t have a lot to write about. I need to focus on getting beter and recover from self harm. I am now 24 days clean and still going strong.

I am so sorry to stop blogging but there is just to much going on in my life right now. I have to figure out what I want because I can’t handle my own feelings right now. I will be back I promise

I love you guys stay strong <3

school started! :D

Heey guys!

Today school started (: I was happy to see everyone and meet the new kids in my class. It was so much fun! We talked so much about nothing and it was so much fun. I missed them so much (: We got to know or new teacher and she is awesome! She is skinny, short, short hair and she has a piercing!. I think she is totally awesome and she is an English teacher (: We also have a male teacher and he is very handsome! And also very nice (: We talked about bands and stuff and I am so happy that we have them.

So I am really excited about this year and I think it is going to be so much fun with our awesome class! I hope it will be better then last year, but I am pretty sure it will be better!

Stay strong and lots of love <3

back 2 school!

heey (:

So tomorrow I have to go back 2 school!!! (: The first day is always fun so I am excited about that. I can’t wait to see everyone agian! Missed them so so so much. I will have my own laptop back so I will write more. I also get my books tomorrow I never had books for school before so that will be weird haha. Today was weird. My bf was here but first I didn’t even want him here. But we saw eachother and he made me happy like always (: It was so much fun! Loved it haha. Tomorrow I will write about my first day of school

bye xx lots of love

back 2 school & lost weight

Heey guys

I have to go back to school in a few days. I am excited to see everyone again because I missed them so so much! But I don’t want the home work or getting up early out of bed for something you don’t even want. The first day is going to be fun, I have school picture and a sport day! I am excited about it.

The pas few weeks has been hard on me. I started with eating less and work out more it worked so I lost weight. I did it the wrong way.. I was reading pro ana sites and I stopped eating food I liked. I am counting the calories in everything! I still feel fat and not good enough and I hate it so so much. I want to lose up to 3 kg more before I can feel better. Their is just so much going on and I can’t take it. I am just 9 days clean and have urges all the time. The need to hurt myself is big. I won’t do it but it is still so hard. I ate so much today and didn’t lost weight and now I feel disgusting.. and I want everybody to leave me alone but I don’t knay how how to say that.

This week also had a good side. I saw my boyfriend 2 times and I will see him again in 2 days. We first kissed! that was weird fun but weird haha. After my ex I said I never see myself kissing someone else’s lips or hugging another body. And now that I am doing it it feels great. I love him.

So that was it for today stay strong beauty’s <3 I love you

Back (:

Hey guys!

I am back (: It took a little longer but I feel way better. I don’t feel the need to harm myself. I think I am on a way called recovery and I am happy about that. I wouldn’t be that if I hadn’t such good friends (: Remember I wrote about loosing weight? Well I lost it, 3,6 kg since I started. And It feels great I want to lose another 2,2 kg and then I will be happy. I am doing way better (: Their will be a fashion blog on saturday (:

Love you guys stay strong <3

100 posts!!

Heey guys (:

I am so proud this is the 100 thing I writing for this blog! I have 31 followers and a lot readers (: I love you guys so much. Mine blog means the world to me and I wouldn’t know what to do without it.

I also have sad new from tomorrow I will be away till friday or saturday. So I can’t write ); I am so sorry guys! I didn’t wrote much the last month so I promise you when I am back I will do a few fashion blogs. I will tell about my holiday and write a lot again (: Again I love you so much guys (l) Keep sharing my blog with other people and thanks for all the comments and like (: I am still clean from cutting! I am ad 10 days now jeej for me!

Lots of love, stay strong and till next week xx Love you

1 week!

Heey (:

Today I am one week clean from cutting! And I know it isn’t that long but I am so happy and a little bit proud. I have ups and downs. More downs than ups some times i feel so sad and worthless al I wanna do is cut the pain away. I know now it isn’t something that helpes anymore. It never was to be honest. I wish I never made that first cut because starting is soooo easy but it is way harder to stop. Like now I feel sad because something my dad said and I am crying. Normally I would cut myself because of it. Now I can’t do that and it is so hard. But I get trough this! I have great friends who support me (: and my boyfriend helps me the most! He is the reason I keep holding on (: and my best friends (l) love them!!

Guys remember cutting your pain away doesn’t help. You are way to beautifull to give your self scars for the rest of your life! Stay strong, become clean & become a recoverd cat! You can do this (: I am here for you!

lost of love (l) love you